Your Property Manager Wants to Tell You…

SCENE: A street. It's a lovely evening. YOU are walking back to your apartment with an ice cream cone.
Suddenly YOUR PROPERTY MANAGER appears from the shadows.
YOU:    Uuh …
MANAGER: I said, psst!
YOU:    Is something wrong?
MANAGER:    Listen…want to make some money?
YOU:  Um…you're my property manager. I'm supposed to pay you.
MANAGER:    True. But I've got a tip for you. Easiest money you'll ever make.
YOU:    I'm not sure I follow –
MANAGER:    You know your toilet?
       YOU blink in polite incomprehension.
MANAGER:    Your toilet! You know, where you –
YOU:    Yes, yes, I know!
MANAGER:    Well don't flush anything down it except toilet paper.
And your garbage disposal — I'm not sure if you have one — but if you do, make sure the food scraps are tiny. No chicken bones or whole cucumbers.
YOU:    Thanks for the reminder. But what's the poi –
MANAGER:    Your security deposit, silly! When things don't break you get to keep it. Now be honest — did you ever think toilet paper would make you twelve hundred bucks?
YOU:    I can't say I did.
MANAGER:    Precisely. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to attend an open house.
    The MANAGER disappears in a puff of smoke.
    The end.


  1. this is so funny