Your Property Manager Wants to Tell You…

SCENE: A street. It's a lovely evening. YOU are walking back to your apartment with an ice cream cone.
 
Suddenly YOUR PROPERTY MANAGER appears from the shadows.
 
MANAGER: Psst!
 
YOU:    Uuh …
 
MANAGER: I said, psst!
 
YOU:    Is something wrong?
 
MANAGER:    Listen…want to make some money?
 
YOU:  Um…you're my property manager. I'm supposed to pay you.
 
MANAGER:    True. But I've got a tip for you. Easiest money you'll ever make.
 
YOU:    I'm not sure I follow –
 
MANAGER:    You know your toilet?
 
       YOU blink in polite incomprehension.
 
MANAGER:    Your toilet! You know, where you –
 
YOU:    Yes, yes, I know!
 
MANAGER:    Well don't flush anything down it except toilet paper.
 
        Pause.
 
And your garbage disposal — I'm not sure if you have one — but if you do, make sure the food scraps are tiny. No chicken bones or whole cucumbers.
 
YOU:    Thanks for the reminder. But what's the poi –
 
MANAGER:    Your security deposit, silly! When things don't break you get to keep it. Now be honest — did you ever think toilet paper would make you twelve hundred bucks?
 
YOU:    I can't say I did.
 
MANAGER:    Precisely. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to attend an open house.
 
    The MANAGER disappears in a puff of smoke.
 
    The end.

Comments

  1. this is so funny